one of us. one of them.

I think we all tend to have a mentality that we are not like some people and that we are very much like others. At least for me, I know I struggle with the “insider/outsider” mentality often. Being here is no different. When you don’t really know what to expect, or when you have false expectations, for me, it sometimes leads to this disconnect between people that is a barrier, you know? Basically, I was dealing a lot with feeling like “one of them” instead of “one of us.” So many things the Father needs to set right with His word. Faithfully, He does.
You know, the outsider mentality will always be present here to some extent. I’ll always be a foreigner, and I get that. What I forget too often is the similarities though – and that’s where relationships happen. We’re not so different.  So on the days I feel so disconnected, from anything and everything, experiences like these pop up:

I was sitting in on a class today, and we were discussing influence – what it meant, what it was, why it was important, how you do it, etc. These are some advanced English college students, and their English is sometimes better than my own!

After we had read through the passage several times, one student asked, “What is essential in this paragraph?” He was talking about the main definition of influence. It was a good question. And you know, the paragraph started by talking about reaching your dreams, visions, goals. We deduce that before you can really influence someone, you have to have a dream, a vision, a goal, something that you can influence them toward. So, the teacher starts by saying, “Do any of you have dreams?” And nothing. No real response. No one really volunteers, but you can hear this quiet, muffled discussion amongst the students.

Then, he asks the right question.

“How many of you don’t have dreams?”

No one volunteers. Everyone does have dreams of course. And we go on to talk about those, about who has influenced us, about who our heroes are, on and on.

And I don’t know what it was about that moment in time that meant so much to me, but it really did. You know, I’ve known for so long that I’m coming here. I’m known for so long that I wanted to love these people, that I wanted to help people, that I wanted to make a difference, that I wanted to be obedient. What I didn’t realize is how much I would learn from them and about them, and how much more I would love because of it. What I didn’t realize is, that although our language is different, our culture is different, our way of life is different, and so many other things - we’re not so much different. We are, but we’re not. And the longer I spend with these people, the more I realize that the pursuit is the same. We’re all trying. We’re all searching for something. And we’re all striving. We want to be better, or to find what better really is. The more I feel like I’m a part of the “one of us.”

This life is full. It is overwhelming at times (i.e. now). It is busy and loud and quiet and calm and intense and slow and fast and happy and sad and scary and thrilling. There is so much. Each one of us has an abundant cup. An overflowing well of experiences and emotions and thoughts. I’m so thankful for a Father that I can bank on in the overwhelming times.

A Father who has put everything in my cup.